5 Values Of A Toxic Leader

Behind every toxic leader is a set of warped values that contribute to their decisions and guide their actions. We should try to understand this behavior so we know it when we see it in others and so we avoid it ourselves.

A regrettable and unfortunate reality in recent years is the number of prominent Christian leaders who have disqualified themselves due to lack of character and integrity. It’s easy to pile on or point the finger at a fallen leader when their flaws are splashed across the pages of Christianity Today, The New York Times or (Lord, have mercy) TMZ. I have known my share of toxic leaders while others I have only read about. But my experience tells me that every one of us carries a sin nature inside that makes us every bit as capable of ending up the same way.

Rather than focusing on specific individuals, I think there’s more value in talking about their unhealthy behaviors so that we can understand where they come from and how they help to create the conditions for leadership failures to happen. Behind every toxic leader is a set of warped values that contribute to their decisions and guide their actions. We should try to understand this behavior so we know it when we see it in others and so we avoid it ourselves.

To borrow a quote: Healthy leaders are all alike but every toxic leader is toxic in a different way. There are many, many more than this but here are five values of a toxic leader:

1. A toxic leader values allegiance over accountability.

“You’re either for me or you’re against me.”

A toxic leader often requires loyalty but rarely gives it in return. You are valuable as long as you maintain your allegiance. A toxic leader will also rush to hold others accountable yet resist accountability themselves. Reasonable questions are seen as divisive and legitimate concerns are perceived as threats. Discussions about poor decisions or bad behavior are twisted into tests of loyalty because trustworthy people aren’t supposed to question their leaders. What is particularly damaging is when the expectation of personal loyalty to the individual leader comes before a commitment to the organization or to the broader cause it represents. A healthy leader will model the type of genuine transparency and accountability they expect of others.

2. A toxic leader values platform over people. “This is mine and I deserve it.”

A toxic leader often develops an unhealthy attachment to the perks and power of their position. It's easy to think this just applies to a pastor with a private jet but the root is a sense of entitlement that exists whenever someone sees the church as a resource to be managed instead of the bride of Christ. Other people’s pride goes before their fall but this kind of toxic leader thinks the normal rules don’t apply. Ministry becomes more of a personal platform than a sacred calling. When gratitude and humility are replaced by hubris and privilege, there's no limit to the way humans can rationalize their own behavior. Eventually a wide range of sin gets justified under this umbrella of entitlement. The leader increasingly acts like a king and his court, seeing others around him as people who are there to serve him rather than the other way around. When a toxic leader's behavior becomes so isolating that there are few left in the inner circle still willing to speak truth to power, it is very hard for the church to reverse course.

3. A toxic leader values grievance over grace. “It’s their fault, not mine.”

A toxic leader often holds grudges and shifts the blame, then gets offended when others do the same. They become adept at the mental gymnastics required to always land on the right side of an issue, regardless of the details or circumstances. An inflated ego makes them slow to admit mistakes and quick to blame others. Love keeps no record of wrongs but a toxic leader settles scores. This kind of person catalogs every offense and carefully tends to every wound, whether real or perceived. Toxic leaders can become almost paranoid, suspecting disloyalty in the ranks and anticipating conspiracies where none exist. They extend little grace but expect much in return.

4. A toxic leader values “next” over “now.”

“I’m too busy to slow down.”

A toxic leader often maintains a constant flurry of activity to mask other things. It may be a way to cover insecurities or conceal the fact that he or she doesn’t have all the answers. A sense of constant forward momentum is sometimes a way to creative the mirage of power and success. Or it may simply be an attempt to outrun the negative consequences of past decisions and failures. If you never slow down long enough to ask questions, you don’t have to acknowledge those things exist. Regardless of the cause, this type of leader has a restless, chronic need to always be doing something. There never seems to be enough time to debrief what just happened because everyone is too busy making sure the the hamster wheel keep spinning. There is a way for a healthy drive to be channeled into purposeful or even innovative ways of thinking, but in this case it is just empty striving after the next thing. A toxic leader avoids genuine self-reflection so this is a useful way to fill the void that more appropriately belongs to healthier behaviors. By pushing the organization to pursue activity for activity’s sake, the result is an emotionally depleted leader, a physically exhausted team and a spiritually unhealthy church.

5. A toxic leader values results over reality. “It doens’t matter how, just get it done.”

A toxic leader often expects unrealistic results because they confuse identity with outcomes. An overly-driven person can easily begin to derive their sense of worth from what they do rather than who they are in Christ. As a toxic leader, they transpose their dysfunction onto everyone else. Individual “success” becomes organizational “success” and so the organization must be driven to reach ever-increasing levels of achievement in order to gratify the leader's insecurities. Organizations that are myopically focused on results at any cost actually become weaker over time. When the leader’s expectations become unrealistic or unmanageable, the team has an incentive to manufacture outcomes in order to maintain the illusion of success. When a toxic leader values results at any cost, that is often what they get.

5 values of a toxic leader: allegiance over accountability, platform over people, grievance over grace, next over now, results over reality

I don’t think any follower of Jesus sets out to become a toxic leader but every one of us carries a sin-soiled conscience so we can all recognize a little of ourselves in what we read here. It only takes one toxic leader to infect an entire organization. In fact, toxic leaders wouldn’t exist without the organization supporting, enabling or at a minimum tolerating the bad behavior. And because we know dysfunction is contagious, there are far more toxic followers than there are toxic leaders. The goal is to bring awareness to these unhealthy leadership behaviors so that we can root them out early. Only by walking in step with the Spirit cam we be conformed to the image of Christ.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…” Hebrews 10:24

What have you done to create a healthy leadership culture in your organization? I would love to hear what you're learning. Send a quick note to me at mv@michaelvolbeda.com.

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